Lingerie shoes

I am ashamed to say that I bought the shoes. I was determined not to buy them. I have absolutely no use for them. Seriously, they look like lingerie. Plus, I can't walk in them. I bought them anyway.

There is a little store near the train stop by my house. I walk past it every day going to and from work, but it's almost always closed at the times I pass by. This is probably a good thing. Who knows how many more useless accessories I would have acquired by now if it were always open. One of the windows is always filled with shoes, and I like to examine the shoe selection by staring into the window like a creeper.

I've gone into the store a few times, but for the most part, things seem to be out of my price range, whose lower and upper bounds both happen to be rather close to zero.

One weekend day, a few weeks ago, I was out on the prowl in the afternoon when the store was open, and I wandered in. I examined the shoe selection as always and had a good chuckle over the uncomfortable-looking shoes. Some of the shoes had heels so high that it was physically painful to force my foot into them to try them on. There was a particular pair of shoes that caught my fancy, and they looked so scandalous that I was compelled to give them a try. Immediately after putting them on, I determined that I looked like a lady of the night, and not in a good way either. I also observed that it was like wearing lingerie on my feet. Though I thought the impersonation of lingerie was a count against the shoes, one of my friends astutely pointed out that more people get to see the lingerie if it's on my feet rather than on other parts of my body. At that point, I was caught in a bit of a dilemma. It was obvious that I wouldn't ever be able to wear the shoes without killing my already-injured knee. It was also obvious that I would never be able to wear the shoes in public due to the overwhelming shame associated with spending good money on them. However, they were scandalous enough to be desirable.

I walked out of the store without buying the shoes, and I thought that was the end of the story. Typically, I forget fairly quickly about the various things I agonize over in stores. Interestingly enough, the lady of the night heels were an exception. I looked for them in the window every time I passed the store. I thought about all the outfits I could match with them. Several weeks later, I woke up with the realization that I wouldn't be able to proceed without buying the shoes. So, I walked over to the store in the midst of the hordes of St. Patrick's revelers and bought the shoes.

Now, I own the shoes. I've actually worn them in public once, at the insistence of a friend of mine. They were painful. I've got to find more occasions to wear them though. I have to retroactively justify my reckless purchase by creating occasions to wear them. To be fair, they have significantly improved my quality of life. Whenever I see them in the morning as I'm going out the door, I chuckle and am instantly in a better mood.

Since buying the whore heels, I've started to notice other peoples' footwear more. When someone is wearing an attractive dress, I think to myself, "a pair of lingerie heels would seal the deal on that outfit". I encourage everyone I know to buy these shoes. They come in red and black and are multipurpose. Whether you are looking to make a good impression on a sexy date or just want to be able to reach the chemicals on the top shelf at lab, these shoes will do the job. Once you buy them, let me know. It'll make me feel a lot less guilty about my own reckless spending.